All-In.

This year I'm going to go "all in" on my own projects and try to see what sticks. I've wanted this for a long, long time, but things always got in the way. Don't get me wrong. I'm fairly good at going "all in," but I get easily convinced many times that my own things aren't really "the main thing".

I'll very easily get convinced that the company I work for is actually the most important thing ever. I completely allow it to absorb my day. When I'm offline, I'll go for a run and still imagine all the hundred things I could achieve for the company. That's not a complaint about any of the companies I got to work for. I enjoy the work thoroughly and I'm often in awe that the stuff I get to do is "a job."

However, going all in on my own things means I cannot go all in on other projects. And so I will need to learn to be able to say yes to interesting projects, and be able to turn the dial down when work time is over and focus the remainder of my energy on other stuff. I've always counted this as just "being bad at context switching," but I think it's more of a loyalty thing. These people pay money and have faith in me! How dare I not fully focus on them. But the thing that always keeps coming back the moment I get ready to leave a company is this: there are a million things I haven't done* and these ideas aren't going away. I should finally dedicate the time.

So, for this year I'm hopeful I can actually do something for 16h (and sometimes 24h) a week, or potentially a full-time month and then be out, to help others (and, to be honest, to keep my learning process going). And then, the remainder of my hours (which are well above 40) I hope I can learn to keep the other hours per week on just my own projects. I don't need to be perfect at this context-switching just yet. I just need to become a lot better at it.

*Yes, that's a Hamilton reference. It's the new year and me and my close friends have a tradition to watch Hamilton on January 1st. I may be a little bit nudged by that.